Equanimity: Finding Balance in the Midst of Life's Storms
Instead of setting a New Year Resolution because IMO they never stick, I like to come up with a word that encompasses my intention for the year ahead.
Last year, 2022, my word was Vulnerability. I practiced a lot of softening in 2022 by leaning into the depth of my emotions and oh my, riding those waves were quite exhausting. I wrote briefly in my blog post; My Journey Into Yoga.. about my experience with PP anxiety and in turn, my decision to take anti-anxiety medication. That decision to seek help really came from a softening around my rigidness regarding pharmaceuticals. I’m not all for big pharma but because I was practicing vulnerability, I was able to recognize that I really needed help and was able to make the decision to seek help and advocate for myself. I also committed and prioritized therapy, and educated myself through reading. One book I often come back to is THIS book; Start Where You Are. A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chödrön. It’s been an excellent guide in how to live life through the lens of compassion which assisted me in being vulnerable with myself and emotions. It has taught me that being compassionate with myself is actually a strength and by being softer with my emotions and healing journey, I experience a deeper sense inner strength and stability.
My word for 2023 is Equanimity.
Equanimity, often described as mental and emotional composure, is the ability to remain calm and balanced in the face of challenges and turmoil. It is not about suppressing or denying emotions; rather, it is about cultivating a stillness within ourselves that allows us to navigate the ups and downs of life with grace and serenity.
It is so interesting how this word followed the year of vulnerability.
Achieving equanimity requires a deep understanding of our own emotions and thoughts. It involves accepting that life is full of impermanence and that change, both positive and negative, is an integral part of our journey. By recognizing this fundamental truth, we can begin to detach ourselves from external circumstances and find solace in our inner being.
In May 2023, after much deliberation and planning, I decided to stop taking my anti-anxiety medication, at the exact same time that I caught covid for the 2nd time (hah). It’s now approximately 11 weeks off the medication and in all honesty, the waves are swelling and at times, the storms have been quite choppy. Practicing yoga and mindfulness through the lens of softness and vulnerability have allowed me to lean into my word; equanimity.
That being said, equanimity demands a compassionate attitude towards ourselves and others. When we approach life with a heart full of kindness and empathy, we create a nurturing environment that supports our journey towards balance and tranquility. By extending understanding and forgiveness towards ourselves and those around us, we detach from conflicts and negative emotions, paving the way for equanimity to flourish.
Who knows if I’ll be able to remain medication free. I have experienced some very turbulent and challenging storms recently that have had me question if I’m “strong” enough to persevere without the assistance of medication. As life presents me with various challenges and tests my resilience, it is essential to remind myself that equanimity is not a destination but a continuous practice. Each moment of stillness and peace that I cultivate brings me closer to this state of being, even in the midst of these storms.
If you are in need of a space to slow down, soften and practice vulnerability and compassion - please join me for my Sunday evening class called Restorative Nidra hosted at Everlove Yoga + Healing.
We are not meant to ride these waves alone, and I want you to know that I am here with you. Thank you for being here with me.